“NIX, YOU IDIOT, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!”

It’s not exactly ordinary to hear an argument going on in the woods.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MY FAULT? YOU WERE HOLDING THE BLOODY MAP!”

Particularly at one in the morning.

“I TOLD YOU I WAS CRAP AT MAPS!”

And especially from two teenage girls from a completely different world.

“YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE A PRIVATE-SCHOOL EDUCATED GENIUS!”

Nix threw the map down in frustration and stomped off to bang her head off some tree. Fee glared at the back of her head, silently willing the blonde highlighted head would catch on fire. No one mentioned her schooling and got away with it.

“Well,” she said smugly. “If you think you’re smarter than me, then tell me, did you realise we’re heading towards a town?”

Nix whipped round, eyes wide. “Seriously? I mean… uh, of course…”

She grinned. “You liar. There’s less lichen on the trees here. Less lichen means a more polluted atmosphere, so we’re getting nearer to civilisation. Good god, I’m missing TV’s already.”

“This would be the reason you couldn’t survive in the Wolf Brother world.” Nix grinned, and flipped her hair.

“Like you could either,” she retorted. She got up and started to limp through the trees.

“Well, as long as Torak was there, with his strooong, muscular arms, I’d be fine…”

“You bloody arm perv. Anyway, Bale’s nicer.”  

“Eh, NO HE’S NOT! Who wants to date a corpse?”

“Eh, I DO! At least he doesn’t complain, like some guys…”

And so they trekked off in a vague destination that was probably the opposite direction from town.

XxXxX

About five and a half hours and one turnaround journey later, they reached the town. A magnificent gateway greeted them, and little, neat market stalls buzzed cheerily with buisness.

“It’s a dump,” Nix decided, looking with distaste at the spotless streets and crime-free alleyways.

“… Have you ever seen Glasgow?”

“Uh, yes, and it’s beeea-utiful!”

Fee rolled her eyes. “If you say so.” She studied the side of a building. “Either someone has spent millions on playing a joke on us or that is a cast iron Konoha leaf symbol on the side of that building.”

“I do.” She blinked as she took in the second part of the announcement “Really? You could just be dreaming too, you know.”

“Yes, that too.”

“Want me to kick you to see?”

“No, thanks.”

The both looked suspiciously at the symbol. “How did you know it was cast iron?”

“Puh-lease. My dad’s a brickie – of course I would know.”


They wandered through the village, glowering at all unfamiliarly cheerful faces (Glasgow was not a happy place) and complaining about the weather (as much as the scots deny it, we really do like the rain). Suddenly Fee stopped dead.

“THAT IS IT!” she declared. Heads turned round – when a Curran even whispers, you notice it. Her voice was like a fart from god. “I AM OVER THIS! WHERE ARE YOU, HUH?! WELL, YOU’D BETTER SHOW YOURSELVES NOW, OR I’M GOING TO SUE!”

She whipped out a notebook for no obvious reason, and her eyes darted about. Nix looked out timidly from behind a chair.

Several snarky comments made their snarky way to the tip of her snarky tongue, such as, ‘woah, Fee, PMS much’ or, ‘can you raise it a bit? Gandhi didn’t quite catch that one’ or even, ‘are you always this big a tard, or is it only when you’re around yourself?’

However, her self-preservation instincts kicked in, and she merely called out, “Um… Fee? Have you completely lost it, or do you have some mental condition that I’m unaware of?” Obviously those instincts didn’t stretch that far.

Fee’s head turned around slowly, breathing heavily like a Sarah Palin pit-bull. “YOU!” she roared.

“Uh… me?” She shrank back.

“ARE YOU IN ON THIS?!”

“On what?” she wailed.

“THIS… THIS… TV PRANK!’

Nix looked a little sceptical under her blind fear. “Who would want to prank you? And spend millions on it? You’re like, so dumb, it would take you forever to get it.” Yeah, those instincts sure were faulty.

“I don’t know!” snapped Fee. ignoring the insult. “All I know is that I’m seeing the Ichiraku Ramen hut twelve feet from here!”

A predatory gleam leapt into Nix s’ eye. “Really?”

Now it was Fee’s to take step back. “Um… yes?”

“Well…if it is… then a certain blond bimbo should be there…”

Fee looked horrified. “Please do not tell me that you have a crush on Naruto!”

She waved the suggestion away, her eyes calculating. “’Course not. It’s his entourage I’m interested in…”

Fee paled. “Y-you mean…”

But Nix had ceased to listen to her. With a predatory snarl, she leapt at a surprised looking Sasuke.

Fee and Nix; welcome to Konohagakure.

Let the Chaos begin.